Currently, my volleyball shoes from last volleyball season are on the top shelf of my dorm room closet, torn apart from the countless hours of running, jumping, and training. Two years ago, before fall volleyball season of my Junior year of high school, my mom took me shopping for the pair of new volleyball shoes. Volleyball shoes aren't just any tennis shoes you wear on a volleyball court; they have extra support, taller insoles, extra grips on the soles and are made specifically to support jumping and quick movements. After trying on about four different pairs and testing them out by running and jumping around the store, I decided on a pair of white, silver, and black Asics brand shoes. These shoes weren't greatly important to me at the time of purchase, but after two years filled with training, team bonding, and an extreme disappointment of a personal failure, I associate them with many changes in my personal perspective on life.
Looking at the insides of my old, torn apart shoes makes me realize how much time, effort, and determination I put into bettering my volleyball skills. Jump training is a workout that works on increasing a person's vertical jump. It is a tiring but strengthening exercise that is necessary for a volleyball player of my height. I am five foot, seven inches tall, and although I am average height normally, I am below average height for a volleyball player in my position. Three days a week in the summer, I would wake up at 6:30 am to get ready and go to workouts with my coach and a few other girls as determined as me. At these workouts, we would warm up with jogging and stretching, then start doing multiple kinds of jumps. We would start off easy with some jump roping, line jumps, broad jumps, and a few more, but as the workout went on, the jumping got more difficult. Towards the end of the workout, we would do squat jumps with a barbell resting on our shoulders and behind our head, block jumps, and approach jumps. With every jump and every sprint, I could feel the cloth that comforted the back of my ankle start to tear. Not only were the insides starting to rip, but the grips on the soles of my shoes were just slightly starting to wear down. When I noticed these changes in my shoes, I felt a sense of pride in my efforts to improve my skills. After all of those summer workouts, my vertical increased three inches to a personal best of twenty five inches. Once volleyball season started, full jump training workouts ended, and a new workout was introduced for the whole team.
Since jump training is a progressive workout that is done over the summer, for in-season workouts, my coach has us do conditioning drills during and after practices. During practices, we would run sprints if we could not finish a competitive drill, or if our team lost in a scrimmage. We would do what was called "suicides" or "ladders," and run to different lines on the volleyball court and back multiple times. After practice, my coach would have us head out to the infamous bleachers. Every girl in the Zion-Benton volleyball program dreads the word "bleachers" because running bleachers is painful and tiring. Although running bleachers was an exhausting workout, running them as a team not only gave all of us a sense of discipline, but it also strengthened our team bond. Megan, our team captain, gave us either a small bead or ribbon to put on our left shoe lace for each game. One bead is a heart so we remember to play with our hearts and there is also a letter "w" so we're motivated to win. There are three small circles that are linked together to make a chain as well. Each of us got one of these chains for our left shoe lace to remember that no matter what, we're linked together as a team. These beads, along with more beads and a few ribbons, are still attached to these shoe laces, and will not be removed. As we ran those bleachers as a team, not only were we motivated by the charms on our shoelaces, but also by our teammates cheering each other to run faster. All of our effort was shown not only in our improved play, but personally, my hard work was also evident in my old, beat up volleyball shoes that were with me literally every step of the way. Running the bleachers proved that no goal is to be reached without hard work. All of the conditioning gave me a work ethic that I now live by. Everything I do is held to a personal standard in which I always strive to achieve. Also, the bleachers and the beads helped me participate in something much greater than volleyball. I was involved in friendship and collaboration with the rest of my team. From these experiences, I have gained characteristics such as cooperation, loyalty and discipline, which I will always carry with me.
I kept those shoes after my Junior season and used them for my club season, as well as my Senior volleyball season. My Senior season did not start out well. At the end of the summer, I caught Mononucleosis, better known as Mono. This virus causes headaches, fatigue, loss of appetite, weakness, and other symptoms. Over the time period I had this virus, I had lost eleven pounds, and most of my training during the regular season and the off season had gone to waste. I no longer could jump twenty five inches in the air, and I could no longer hit a volleyball as hard as I used to. My muscle had weakened to the point where I was almost starting over. I hold myself to a very high standard and I expect more from myself than any coach ever has. My first day back to volleyball after I got over Mono made me realize that I would have to work harder than I ever had before in order to reach the standards I hold myself to, and there was no doubt in my mind that I was more than ready to do just that.
Throughout my Senior-year season, I had worked harder than I thought possible to get my strength back from Mono and earn the title of MVP I have been dreaming about since eighth grade. In the athletic hallway of Zion-Benton Township High School, there is an MVP board that dates back to the 1960s that contains small plaques naming the MVP's of every sport for every year since then. My mother is on the MVP board for softball, volleyball, and basketball in 1988, my uncle appears on the board for soccer in 1989, and my older sister holds a spot on the same board as my mother and uncle for softball in 2010. Ever since I saw my mother and uncle on that MVP board, I made it my goal to get my name up there. I wanted my name to be in the school forever, so that when girls look at that board and see my name, they feel the same inspiration and determination I did. Everything I did from then on revolved around getting my name on that MVP board. I had a personal standard for myself that I was determined to achieve. I dreamt about the awards ceremony, where the awards of every fall sport, including MVP, would be announced in front of every coach, athlete, and their families. All season I worked to make every game and practice flawless. Even though I knew that perfection was an unrealistic goal, I never gave up. The weakness from the Mono caused me to struggle with jumping and the strength of my hits, but by the end of the season, I was playing almost as well as I used to. I always kept a positive attitude, and my dream stayed alive every second of every day.
After the season ended, the announcement came out for the date of the awards ceremony. It was on a Wednesday night in late fall, located in the main gym of the high school. I walked into the school with my parents and younger sister by my side and sat with the rest of my team in chairs set up on the floor of the gym, while the families sat up in the stands. There is a large ceremony in order to give out all-conference, all-academic, and MVP awards for every fall sport, and afterwards, each sport goes to a different spot in the school to distribute varsity letters and certificates of participation. The large ceremony started and as it went on, football, cheerleading, tennis, and girls swimming coaches went through their awards, announcing accomplishments of each player receiving an award. Finally, it was time for my coach, Coach Carlson, to present his awards for volleyball. From my seat, I could see the MVP trophy sitting on the table, waiting to be handed out. My coach announced three girls, including myself, who received All-Academic, All-Conference and Honorable Mention awards and told the crowd some of our accomplishments. After he finished telling the audience about us three, he picked up the MVP trophy and paused for a moment. He started describing how the player who will be receiving this award worked hard every day, stayed positive throughout practices and games, and truly earned the honor about to be given. I couldn't help but imagine holding the trophy, and then I thought of all my hard work and how the insides of my shoes were torn so badly that the cushion in the heel was protruding through the fabric.
"Morgan Franklin." The name that came out of his mouth was not mine. This was not how my dream was supposed to happen; this was a nightmare. I couldn't think, I couldn't move, and I couldn't feel anything except for the tears building up in the corners of my eyes. I looked up and locked eyes with my mother in the stands as I felt the first tear of many roll down my cheek. As the crowd applauded, the three of us girls sat back in our seats and waited for the end of the large ceremony. Once it ended, I walked out of the gym and straight to the bathroom, where individual tears bound together to create a steady stream running down my cheeks. After about a minute of crying, I realized that I still had to be present at the small ceremony. I grabbed some toilet paper, dried my cheeks and eyes, wiped off the little bit of waterproof mascara that apparently wasn't tear proof, and walked the short distance to the room dedicated to the volleyball program. I took the open seat next to my closest teammate and role model, Megan and she held my hand while the rest of the parents filed in and took their seats, until the end of the ceremony. I got through the ceremony and the ride home without anymore tears, but when I opened my front door and saw my shoes sitting on top of my volleyball bag, my disappointment rose to the surface and I didn't try to fight the tears that came with it. My shoes not only looked old and over used, but they smelled like sweat and rubber. The grips on the bottoms of the shoes were so worn out that they could not be worn to play in anymore. In my eyes, without the MVP trophy they were just a useless pair of old, smelly, beat up shoes; nothing more, nothing less.
Then, as I stared at them sitting there on my bag, I thought about how proud I should be of my accomplishments instead of focusing on the one goal I didn't reach. I realized that the support and love I felt from holding Megan's hand during the ceremony was greater than any support I would have gotten through holding a trophy with a "MVP" plaque on it. I came to the conclusion that I didn't need my name up on a board to know that I was important to my teammates and that my family was proud of my accomplishments. Whether or not I had the title of MVP, I had still overcome many obstacles and I could use my shoes to reflect on those events instead of dwelling on the title I no longer needed. I had been basing my hard work on getting a trophy instead of working hard in order to please myself and benefit my team the best I could. My tears came to an end and I knew that I had a decision to make. I could either quit volleyball altogether or I could try out for the club volleyball team at college. After thinking heavily about where I wanted to take my volleyball career, I decided it was time to get new shoes. The volleyball shoes I have now hold completely different memories than my old shoes, and they continue to obtain new ones every day.